Has the current “impossible” beauty standards made it hard for you to love yourself? Don’t worry I understand- because this was me only 2 years ago…
I know this is a triggering topic and I am not trying to hurt ANYONE..
I admit I do fit the impossible beauty standards, in one way or another (aka pretty privilege). For instance, some people might want to offer me help just because, and I sometimes have people thinking I am a good person, due to the “halo effect.”
Is being beautiful a curse?
However like everything else, Being pretty also has its disadvantages(Disclaimer, these are not complaints).
- People think I am “dumb” just because I am pretty so I had to make sure to work extra hard in my classes back in school so my brains could be recognised and not be overshadowed by my beauty. It wasn’t enough to just be “clever” but very clever- like top five clever.
- Guys find me to be intimidating- A lot of guys would stare but not approach. A lot also think I have a boyfriend already (no wonder I never had one lol)
- Others think I would reject them so no need to try. Sometimes this is good because it helps to keep F-boys at bay but sometimes, this isn’t the case.
- Also, I used to be very skinny when I was younger but I still had a pretty face. Because of that, even though guys noticed me, they would still tear me apart with my “boniness” especially if I rejected them. So, I really wished I were invisible.
Solution to Toxic beauty standards
It is very sad that our society has become so focused on looks and lookism that people now would go under drastic measures just to fit the impossible beauty standard, which has made loving oneself as they, are quite impossible.
However, remember this, we are all the same in God’s eyes. To be honest human beings, even back in the olden days have always been visual (even if it wasn’t as extreme as it is now).
Is being pretty important?
When selecting the King of Israel, whom people would expect would have a good stature and appearance, since he represented the country, God said to the prophet Samuel that he rejected King David’s older brothers who seemed to measure up to the role more because, unlike man who only looked at the outward appearance, God looked at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). We should be doing the same too. Yes we may not see a person’s heart but “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34).
We can tell the inner character of a person just by listening to them. Let’s not allow looks to blind our perception of people. Especially in the workplace where someone with better looks would be accepted over someone with better credentials and character.
Pretty privilege or fitting the impossible beauty standards, seems to be more beneficial to women since we are the ones who according to society, have to look good at all times. However, God said “charm is deceitful, beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Do not make meeting impossible beauty standards what you strive for
A woman who fears the Lord is a woman with a good heart, a caring, loving woman who does not make her beauty, charm or pretty privilege her entire identity (proverbs 31:30).
“Do not let your adorning be external like clothes you wear or the jewellery but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which in God’s eyes is very precious. (1 Peter 3:3)
This does not mean you shouldn’t look pretty or that you should combat society’s expectations by treating yourself anyhow but do not let your hairstyles, designer clothes, expensive jewellery be your entire identity. And do not make trying to adhere to impossible beauty standards, what would make you love yourself.
Pretty Privilege NO MORE?
For those with pretty privilege, who look down on others who do not, remember, we are all the same. This beauty is just an outer shell that you would see mostly in your youth. What are you going to do then when your beauty wears out, and it is your only sense of identity? In your old age only your vile self of looking down on other woman and calling them “ugly” would remain. That’s when all those guys that were all about you just because you were pretty would no longer come around. And this is why you shouldn’t strive to meet the impossible beauty standards so you can love yourself- you are special and unique and deserving of love because God loved you even before He made you.
How to love Yourself in a world with impossible beauty standards
The main way to love yourself which I know is foolproof(because that is what I did), is to see yourself the way God sees you. God sees you as precious and unique and would have gone through with His atrocious death on the cross to save you, even if you were the only one in the world! Once you come to that realisation, you start to see yourself as the jewel you are !
Remember you are one in 7 billion!
No matter how we look, we are all EQUAL.
God knitted all of us in our mother’s womb.(Psalm 139:14).
YOU are special.
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I am Angel Marfo, a 24 year old woman with a degree in Medical Physiology from the University of Nottingham. However I found a passion with content creation back in January this year and thats all I want to do now.
I like to Inspire people especially women, with their Mindset, Fashion and Lifestyle- God's Way.
My UGC Portfolio contains various videos that show my content creation journey. They include various niches such as lifestyle, travel, fashion and beauty
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